Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
