Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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