I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize