does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
40s are totally the cure
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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