remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
