i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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