hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
