I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
