you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
