Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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