on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
