also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
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