woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
