you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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