I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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