K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
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