all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
