dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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