did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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