it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
