My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize