so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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