3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
