he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Randomize
