My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
