we have pet lesbian snakes
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
