The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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