I wanna bring you to show and tell
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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