I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
