Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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