were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Ladies don't puke and tell
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
