Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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