we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
They left me at home... I'm a liability
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
