hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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