Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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