My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
