I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
