I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
