somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
