i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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