What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
