I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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