Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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