lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
