Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
