Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
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