I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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