But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
