k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
