We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize