I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
