Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Randomize
