Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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