Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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