It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
