hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize