So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Randomize