She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
