Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize