Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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