she kept yelling 'call me bella'
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
