yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
