I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
