Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
