Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
