I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
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We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
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Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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