Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
