dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
