Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
