what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
